


a piece of the heart

by jjokkiri



Category: UP10TION
Genre: !!!!, ???? - Freeform, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Best Friends, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Sharing a Bed, basically weishin go on a post graduation trip, honestly jinhyuk is whipped, jinhyuk centric ??, there's no other way to explain this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 02:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21438847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjokkiri/pseuds/jjokkiri
Summary: Jinhyuk treasures the moments they spend together abroad, because when they return to Seoul and continue their own paths of life, there is no guarantee that Wooseok’s steps will always include him. He treasures the moments of their friendship, and maybe that’s why he doesn’t have the guts to confess that he’s in love.
Relationships: Kim Wooseok | Wooshin/Lee Jinhyuk
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	a piece of the heart

**Author's Note:**

> if you recognize this story line from somewhere, please move on and pretend that you do not.  
this was re-written from a work that’s about… four years old.
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy!

_Happiness was inevitable_—that much was unmistakable from the look on Kim Wooseok’s face. He held his head high and proud, his eyes were bright and there was a brilliant smile on his lips as he walked across the stage, graduation cap carefully balanced atop his head like a glorified crown acknowledging everything he had worked towards since childhood.

_It was inevitable._ He was walking off the stage into a new future, one that would be paved by his accomplishments and efforts. It was hopeful and exciting; he was walking into life with a sudden lack of the guidelines the education system always restrained its students with.

He positively glowed. It was a reassurance, this. Everything he’d done up until this point of his life was worth something and he had a piece of paper to show for it. Accomplishments took time. Wooseok was proud of this one, he had worked his entire life for it. At twenty-one, it was the most he _could_ achieve as a child who was encouraged to focus on his studies.

And when he returned to his seat, he clapped the loudest when his best friend’s name was called. In a sudden moment of too much excitement, Wooseok whistled loudly when Lee Jinhyuk’s name was called and the tall man walked across the stage, balancing his own graduation cap on his head. Jinhyuk beamed, radiant smile rivalling Wooseok’s smile when he crossed the stage.

The graduation ceremony was a marker in their lives, the moment they would move past being trapped in the throes of a repetitive education system.

There were many things waiting for them in the future and there wasn’t a way to know what any of those things were. They had been best friends for longer than they could remember and they had always tackled unknown challenges with one another. It was typical of them.

They were the kind of friends who told one another almost everything, they were the kind of friends who sometimes just sat in absolute silence, simply enjoying the company. They were also the kind of friends that made crazy plans with one another for the sake of it. Jinhyuk couldn’t wait to get out of the auditorium and tackle the surprises life would throw at them.

It would all start with a reckless decision to travel the world, post-graduation.

It was a mutual decision to pack up their things after their graduation and go somewhere together to commemorate finally graduating from their respective programs. It was something they had been planning for months—a trip to somewhere random. They would splurge on a trip halfway across the world before they had to find their way back to reality.

They deserved it. Finally, they were free from the constant stress cycle of the education system. To them, there wasn’t a better way to celebrate; who better than your best friend?

It was Jinhyuk’s idea. Even growing up, Wooseok had better ideas between them. Jinhyuk threw out ideas, sometimes, but more often than not, his ideas were the ones that would fall apart—the ridiculous ones they would laugh about in the years to come. Wooseok’s ideas worked out more often than Jinhyuk’s plans; he’d always been the more realistic one between them, after all.

It was close to a miracle that he managed to get Wooseok to agree to _this_.

Wooseok ran into Jinhyuk’s arms when they were dismissed from the auditorium, excitement overwhelming his rational actions. Jinhyuk laughed when he caught the smaller man in his arms, eyes bright. He grinned at him, eyes twinkling with excitement—this was a big moment for them.

“Are you ready?” Wooseok asked. Jinhyuk laughed.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replied. Wooseok grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the hallway.

A wrench wedged itself into Wooseok’s plans to get them out of the hallway as soon as possible when their friends caught them. Seon Yein ushered them into the center of a photograph, insistent that their memories needed to be treasured. Wooseok rolled his eyes. Jinhyuk smiled fondly at his best friend when the younger man huffed at the idea of being held back from making the _big_ decision of their week-long escapade across the world.

“I don’t want to be here,” Wooseok muttered, squished between Jinhyuk and Yein.

Jinhyuk laughed. He threw an arm over Wooseok’s shoulder, “We’ll have all the time in the world to do whatever we want after this. Just put up with it a little longer.”

The smaller man rolled his eyes. Jinhyuk chuckled.

Wooseok ended up looking good in the photos despite being the only one not smiling.

Jinhyuk found himself entirely unsurprised. He slipped the polaroid into the jacket of his suit and let Wooseok drag him away from the crowd of people, again.

An hour and a half after they escaped their graduation venue, Jinhyuk was seated in the living room of Wooseok’s apartment with his long legs crossed.

Wooseok had already changed into comfortable clothing and he was lounging on the sofa next to Jinhyuk. He had a pair of scissors in his hands as he cut the destinations apart, neatly folded them into little squares, and dropped them into his graduation cap.

In an attempt to get comfortable, Jinhyuk shrugged the jacket of his suit off his shoulders and loosened his tie, leaving the few top buttons his dress shirt unbuttoned. He regretted not leaving a change of clothes at Wooseok’s place like the younger man had suggested a million times over, but he made do in his formal clothing. Wooseok’s clothes were too small for him.

It didn’t matter too much.

They had a destination to decide.

They were picking their destination from a random pool of cut-up paper strips thrown into Wooseok’s graduation cap. They insisted that the result was random but Wooseok had spent weeks leading up to their graduation researching the potential locations. They didn’t write down every country in the entire world; the twenty-five strips of paper in Wooseok’s graduation cap represented the places they wanted to go together, the places that were popular for their tourist attractions because, for an entire week, they would be nothing but that. _Tourists._

Wooseok let Jinhyuk pick from the cap. The first slip he pulled from the mix would be their destination. Wooseok’s laptop was already set up on the coffee table in front of them, ready for them to book their flights and hotels when the decision was made. It was stupid and it was reckless but Jinhyuk wouldn’t like it any other way—everything with Wooseok was good as it was.

Jinhyuk’s slender fingers pulled a slip of paper from the hat and he quickly handed it to Wooseok, not wanting to be the first to see it. He covered his face with his hands. Wooseok’s laughter bubbled from his lips, and the sound felt like a tickling sensation in Jinhyuk’s chest; warm.

Wooseok took it from him with careful fingers. Jinhyuk peeked through his parted fingers when Wooseok unfolded the slip of paper, studying the expression on Wooseok’s face.

Wooseok’s expression changed. There was on a look on his face that Jinhyuk thought could be deemed as pleased. Wooseok turned the slip to show Jinhyuk, his lips curved into a smile.

Jinhyuk immediately mirrored it—_how could he not?_ He couldn’t resist smiling at Wooseok when the younger man was smiling so brightly at him. His heart was weak to Wooseok’s smile.

Wooseok left the hotel booking to Jinhyuk. He ran to his bedroom to get his credit card for the plane tickets. At the speed of light, Jinhyuk paid for the hotel room before Wooseok could return. He _knew_ Wooseok would complain about it but splitting the costs of an expensive trip only seemed reasonable. And Jinhyuk wanted to be a little bit selfish.

He gave his best friend a cheeky smile when the younger man returned to the living room, disbelief on his face. He should have seen it coming. Wooseok wrestled Jinhyuk’s credit card out of his hand with an annoyed huff. And he squeezed himself onto Jinhyuk’s lap when he booked their flight, unwilling to let the taller man move in case he would interrupt Wooseok’s payment.

Jinhyuk didn’t mind it at all. With Wooseok in his lap, he comfortably wrapped an arm around his best friend’s waist and rested his chin on the younger man’s shoulder. In silence, he relished in the contact with his heart fluttering in his chest.

And suddenly, a week in Vienna awaited them.

The thing about Jinhyuk was that when he got excited, he never shut up. It was impossible to shut him up when he was excited about anything because he was all bright smiles and long, flailing limbs. He was excited about their trip, the time he would spend with his best friend.

And in the many years of knowing him, it was expected that Wooseok should have already known the fact. And the keyword happened to be _should_.

And needless to say, Jinhyuk didn’t shut up during the entire plane ride to Vienna.

The vaguely distressed expression on the younger man’s face was almost funny. It was obvious that Wooseok was trying to fall asleep on the plane but Jinhyuk was oblivious. He kept him up with his chattering. And Wooseok was too kind to his best friend to tell him to shut up.

But even Jinhyuk got tired of talking, sometimes.

It was somewhere in the middle of excitedly asking Wooseok what the first thing he wanted to do when they finally landed was, that the younger man laid out his carefully thought out plans to him.

“I want to sleep,” he replied, flatly. Jinhyuk glared at his best friend, a pout on his lips.

He hit him in the arm, gently. “You’re no fun.”

Wooseok snorted.

(But they quickly drifted off to sleep, Wooseok’s head rested against Jinhyuk’s shoulder—and Jinhyuk’s head against Wooseok’s—with a shared blanket covering both of them.)

It took them hours to finally get to the hotel and they were both exhausted by the time they got to the hotel. But it seemed that Jinhyuk’s energy never seemed to deplete entirely.

He had been the one to book the hotel room for them. And, without Wooseok’s supervision, he was allowed to do anything he wanted. They would have been sharing a hotel room no matter what, but Jinhyuk was guilty of lying about their relationship status for the sake of an ongoing promotion. He didn’t need Wooseok to know that.

He and Wooseok both said they were willing to splurge for the trip, but splurging was different from being realistic. Jinhyuk wouldn’t turn a blind eye to discounts. And in his defence, no sane person would turn down the offer of 25% off the price of a four-star hotel.

He probably should have told him about it.

Jinhyuk had been hoping that the staff wouldn’t mention it at all. He should have been expecting it, honestly. But he wasn’t expecting the receptionist to look up their reservation and congratulate on an engagement and wedding that didn’t happen.

Wooseok’s confused expression was all he needed.

Jinhyuk practically pushed his best friend out of the way. His conversation with the girl sitting at the desk was too cheerful—exaggerated happiness. He practically snatched the keys out of her hands before he rushed away from the desk.

Wooseok followed him. Jinhyuk tensed, waiting for Wooseok to say something. There wasn’t a chance that Wooseok would let it slide without saying anything. Jinhyuk knew his best friend.

_“Jinhyuk, we aren’t—,”_ Wooseok started.

With a nervous laugh, Jinhyuk grabbed his best friend’s hand and entwined their fingers. The sound of his laughter was shaky, an effort to expel the sudden embarrassment from his body. Jinhyuk dragged Wooseok towards the elevators.

When he turned, he hoped he looked innocent enough.

“They don’t need to know that!” he declared.

_Let me dream, Wooseok._

Then, cheekily, Jinhyuk wrapped his arms around his best friend and pulled him into his chest, Wooseok’s back pressed against his front. He rested his chin against the smaller man’s shoulder.

Wooseok shifted, his eyes finding Jinhyuk’s. “So, are we married or engaged?”

“Married,” he answered. The taller man fluttered his lashes innocently, “It’s for the discount.”

Wooseok snorted.

“Right.”

When they finally got into their hotel room, Jinhyuk was entirely worn out.

They slept on the plane, but sleeping on the plane was never enough.

Jinhyuk hesitated—paling—when he realized that the hotel room only had one bed. He was impulsive and he didn’t think this through.

It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. He and Wooseok have slept on the same bed before.

But they slept on the same bed when they were younger. They slept on the same bed when Jinhyuk didn’t know what his feelings meant. And right now? He felt like he might collapse at the foot of the bed at the idea of sharing a bed with the best friend he was in love with.

“That’s a huge bed,” Wooseok remarked. Jinhyuk turned to look at him.

“Yeah,” he croaked, stupidly.

“It could fit both of us and at least two other people,” Wooseok continued.

Jinhyuk swallowed. “It’s huge.”

Wooseok crossed his arms over his chest and a grin, “I call the left side.”

“You can have it,” he answered.

_This wasn’t a big deal to Wooseok at all, _Jinhyuk realized. He could work with this.

And he swore he saw the hints of a small smile on Wooseok’s lips when they collapsed onto their respective sides of the bed. He hoped it wasn’t a trick of his eye.

They passed out for the entirety of the night.

Morning came as a stream of offensive sunlight through the flimsy blinds that did absolutely nothing to protect their eyes. The blinds did a much better job of looking pretty—and Jinhyuk was certain that it was entirely the intention of the hotel owners to install useless and pretty blinds.

It was only when he tugged on the blankets to cover his face and there was resistance that he remembered where he was and who he was with.

It took less than thirty seconds for him to practically bounce off the bed and try to awaken Wooseok. Mornings were rough for Wooseok. Wooseok wasn’t a morning person and he had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. Jinhyuk didn’t want to waste a moment of their time, and he would push Wooseok off the bed if it meant waking him.

This trip was meant to make memories worth a lifetime of happiness for them.

“You’re the worst,” Wooseok groaned when he hit the floor.

“You know you love me.”

Jinhyuk offered him a hand to help him up before he ushered the younger man to the washroom to wash up before they took to the streets of Vienna.

_Vienna was beautiful._

Jinhyuk dragged Wooseok everywhere.

They looked at the landscape, the scenery. Wooseok was most excited about visiting the palace near their hotel. He pretended he hated being dragged around by Jinhyuk and having to follow in the taller man’s longer strides. Jinhyuk knew he was pretending because he could see Wooseok’s eyes twinkling when he admired the things surrounding them.

(And Jinhyuk knew that Wooseok’s eyes would never catch him admiring _him_.)

He took photos of everything. Jinhyuk was set on treasuring every moment in photos—the architecture, the sky, and them. Jinhyuk’s long arms acted the role of a selfie stick until Wooseok insisted that he should hand the camera to a random passerby and ask that they take a photo of them. Wooseok always had better ideas, really.

(He snuck photos of Wooseok when the younger man wasn’t looking.)

The camera wasn’t lowered until the battery was dead.

Jinhyuk was in love with the scenery around them and the foreign air. And he was in love with Wooseok, not that he ever dared to say anything about it. He simply took Wooseok’s hand into his own and laced their fingers together as if it were completely natural.

And Wooseok said nothing of it.

_3:42 AM. _Their hotel room was too cold.

Jinhyuk wasn’t the most sensitive to temperatures but he didn’t appreciate it very much when he needed to curl up in thick blankets just to keep his body temperature in check. Wooseok was still asleep and it was barely four in the morning but Jinhyuk had woken because it was too cold.

He’d rolled out of bed to fiddle with the thermostat to no avail.

He supposed he could wait until he was a reasonable hour to call room service and ask for their assistance, but the dramatic part of his mind convinced him that he would more likely die from hypothermia by the time a reasonable hour rolled around. He took his chances with believing that _maybe_, by some stroke of miraculous luck, Wooseok knew how to work it.

He shuffled back to the bed and crouched down next to his best friend’s sleeping figure.

He took a moment to admire him: his long lashes and the smooth curves of his face. He looked prettier when he had his guard down, asleep and peaceful. Jinhyuk’s heart twinged at the reminder that he was waking Wooseok up from his most peaceful state. And for a moment, he considered that maybe, he could just suffer in the cold until the morning.

He nudged Wooseok awake.

Wooseok’s brows furrowed at the contact but he didn’t move. Jinhyuk sprawled on top of his best friend in an attempt to be persuasive, pouty. If there was any real notification that Wooseok was awake, it was the incoherent grunt he made at Jinhyuk’s added weight.

“Wooseok,” he called. “It’s cold and I don’t know how to turn down the air conditioning.”

His complaint was answered with silence. If Jinhyuk didn’t know Wooseok at all, he would have assumed that Wooseok hadn’t heard him. But the younger man’s brows drew together and he frowned, eyes still closed; he was listening to him. It took Wooseok a moment to respond.

“Call room service,” Wooseok murmured. He buried his face back into the pillow and pulled the blanket up to his chin (or whatever he could pull with Jinhyuk’s weight on top of the blanket).

Jinhyuk was quicker than Wooseok. He chased him. He tugged the blanket away from him to prevent Wooseok from falling back asleep.

Jinhyuk exhaled, “Wooseok, it’s four in the morning, why would I call room service?”

Wooseok cracked open an eye to look at the taller man on top of him.

“It’s four in the morning, why would you wake me up?”

Jinhyuk frowned at his best friend. “I’m cold.”

He ran his fingers through Wooseok’s hair affectionately, in an attempt to coax him into doing what he wanted—or maybe it was just an excuse to do it because Wooseok looked absolutely adorable when he was sleepy.

And it pleased him to no end when Wooseok grudgingly got up from the bed to turn down the air conditioning for him.

Jinhyuk rolled back under the sheets with a smile, his heart skipping a beat as he did. He welcomed Wooseok back into bed with a cheeky embrace awaiting him.

Wooseok glared at him but rolled into his arms. Jinhyuk pulled him into his chest (and Jinhyuk allowed himself this one chance to step beyond the boundaries he set for himself).

For some reason, Jinhyuk always woke up before Wooseok did. Wooseok liked to sleep in.

But they had plans to explore for the day, so as quietly as possible, Jinhyuk headed to the shower.

He woke up without Wooseok tangled in his arms (as disappointing as that was). The younger man was curled up in the blankets on the other side of the bed. And for a split second, when he woke, he had the urge to pull Wooseok back into his embrace. He decided against it.

He made sure he wouldn’t wake the younger man when he slipped out of his side of the bed.

Wooseok should be entitled to at least another hour of sleep before Jinhyuk woke him. At least, because he had to make up for waking him up in the middle of the night somehow.

And it wasn’t until after his shower that he realized he forgot to bring his clothes with him.

Jinhyuk panicked.

In theory, it should have been fine. They were both men. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with appearing undressed in the middle of their shared hotel room. It sounded weird in Jinhyuk’s head, despite his insistence that it should be _fine_. But he couldn’t reason with himself that the tiny towel could make him decent enough to escape from the washroom to grab his clothing.

He didn’t even know if Wooseok was awake or not. That was the worst part.

“Jinhyuk, you’re so stupid,” he scolded himself. He leaned against the bathroom door with a huff, “why are you like this? You’re literally the stupidest.”

He stayed there, waiting.

He probably should have just snuck out because he didn’t hear movement until fifteen minutes later when Wooseok’s footsteps padded around the room. He quickly scrambled to lock the door.

He was too young to die from a heart attack. He hadn’t even gotten the chance to confess to his best friend yet. _He was a little bit too dramatic._

“Jinhyuk?” Wooseok’s voice came from the other side of the door, “you’ve been in there for a really long time. Are you okay?”

It took all of his self-control to not scream to rid himself of the overwhelming embarrassment.

Wooseok was absolutely wonderful. As a person. Wooseok cared enough to check on him. Perhaps, in any other scenario, Jinhyuk’s heart might have melted a little at the thought of his best friend caring that much for him. But right now, he simply wanted to vanish into thin air.

His voice was barely audible when he managed a response.

“Um, yeah,” he replied, “I’m good. I’m good, but… can you maybe… _maybe_… leave the hotel room for a bit? Like, just stand outside for like five minutes?”

Wooseok’s response was silence. Jinhyuk cleared his throat awkwardly.

“… I forgot my clothes and I can’t leave the bathroom because you’re there and I think that would be a little weird because you’ve never seen me naked—!”

Wooseok cut him off, “Okay, okay. I get it,” there was laughter strung to the end of Wooseok’s words. Jinhyuk swore it was his imagination. _The audacity_.

“Lock the door behind you!” he exclaimed, “I’ll let you in later!”

Jinhyuk wasn’t going to open the door for a while if he found out that Wooseok really was laughing.

It was just his luck.

On the fourth night of their vacation, the sky darkened and growled with thunder.

They had spent the majority of the day outside but Jinhyuk had wanted to see the city lights at night. But, with the raging storm, they weren’t going anywhere. It was much too dangerous to walk around the streets when it was raining so hard out.

And Jinhyuk wasn’t really willing to leave his position curled up in the sheets, anyway. He was petrified of the growling storm but it seemed his best friend couldn’t understand why.

_It was just a storm._

His inherent fear of storms was something he never got over. He’d never spent a storm with Wooseok before, he didn’t expect the younger man to know of his fear.

Wooseok didn’t understand it but his best friend was on the verge of tears with every rumble and flash from outside. This wasn’t what Jinhyuk imagined any part of their trip to Vienna to be.

But nothing ever went exactly to their plans. Nothing ever worked out like planned.

Yet, when Wooseok sat down next to him on the bed and hushed him, Jinhyuk quieted. The younger man handed him a tissue to wipe his eyes and tried to distract him from the bursts of lightning and torrential downpour striking the window. His eyes seemed to glimmer with concern.

Wooseok’s arms comfortingly wrapped around Jinhyuk in silence.

And even when he was so terrified, his heart skipped a beat.

And he thought to himself, a hesitant thought that somehow sounded so sure when it formed: _there was no storm worse than the one in his heart when he looked at Wooseok_.

They didn’t leave the hotel at all on the fifth day of their vacation. They spent the entire messing around in the hotel, feeling like they were children again as they explored every inch of the hotel. They ran away when the staff went to question the two twenty-one-year-old men who couldn’t control their giggles as they fooled around in the hotel.

Jinhyuk was nearly amazed that he was able to convince Wooseok to do stupid things with him. But when he thought about it, they had agreed on flying halfway across the world to celebrate their graduation and that was enough of a _crazy _idea.

When they got back to their own hotel room, it was quiet.

Jinhyuk allowed Wooseok the nap time he needed; he knew he was tired.

He didn’t have the heart to wake Wooseok up when he was hungry, so he quietly called for room service. And it wasn’t the easiest task to open the door of the hotel room quietly. He did his best to not wake Wooseok up. And if it wasn’t the noise that woke Wooseok from his slumber, it was the scent of food filling the space.

Jinhyuk sat on the floor with his back against the bed. There was nothing stopping him from eating his dessert first and he took the opportunity.

His fork was hanging out of his mouth when a sleepy Wooseok scared him out of his wits with a tap on his shoulder. Jinhyuk’s hands flew over his chest and he resisted the urge to scream.

Wooseok opened his mouth to say something and Jinhyuk’s immediate reflex was to shove a spoonful of cake into his mouth. _No one should look that good when they first wake up._

“I don’t want to hear it,” Jinhyuk declared.

The surprise on Wooseok’s face was priceless.

On the sixth night of their vacation, they were both curled into their respective sides of the bed and Jinhyuk felt cold. No matter how tightly he wrapped his side of the blanket around himself, it never felt like it was enough. The thermostat was turned down a few days ago but he still felt cold.

He probably should have thought to ask Wooseok about how the device worked when the younger man shuffled to turn it down. But, Jinhyuk was absolutely brilliant and he didn’t do that.

He didn’t want to wake Wooseok up, he wasn’t planning on it. Wooseok was drawn out of his slumber from Jinhyuk’s insistent squirming on his side of the bed. He couldn’t get comfortable and it pulled Wooseok away from a restful slumber.

It was almost impossible to comprehend Wooseok’s sleepy murmurs but Jinhyuk understood—because somehow, he always did—and his response was a quiet mumble.

“It’s cold.”

Wooseok’s response was more coherent, this time.

“I turned the air conditioning down already,” he said.

Jinhyuk didn’t answer him. Wooseok too tired and unwilling to move from his position on the bed but Jinhyuk’s silence had him turning his head to look at the taller man. His lips tugged into a frown when his best friend continued to shift silently on the bed.

Wordlessly, Wooseok moved closer to him. He wrapped his arms around the taller man and pulled him closer. He covered him with the extra blankets and curled up against him. Jinhyuk’s breath caught in the back of his throat. Wooseok probably didn’t mean to do it but when he spoke, he was so close to Jinhyuk’s ear that his breath brushed his ear; warm.

It had Jinhyuk shivering—definitely not from the cold.

“Is that better?” he asked, softly.

_“Y-yeah.”_

Jinhyuk’s cheeks blazed with colour and heat rushed through his body. It spread everywhere and suddenly, he wasn’t cold anymore. His heart was suddenly an unstoppable rhythm in his chest and he couldn’t help but think that he might just melt into the sheets and never speak again.

But, it also had Jinhyuk’s mind reeling.

He should get cold more often if this was Wooseok’s solution to it.

Jinhyuk found himself wide awake in the middle of the night. There was nothing to occupy his mind until he could fall back asleep. His eyes found their way to his best friend’s sleeping figure and he wanted to tear his eyes away before his imagination could get ahead of itself and put ridiculous ideas into his head. But he couldn’t.

There was something ethereal about Wooseok that he couldn’t describe in words. _He was captivating._ He was the type of person who had people flocking him because he was gorgeous. He was the type of person who didn’t need to put effort into making someone’s heart race because he did it too easily for Jinhyuk. And Jinhyuk was certain that Wooseok never intended for it to happen. Kim Wooseok was enchanting, but he wasn’t the first person that Jinhyuk thought he would ever fall for but he definitely wasn’t the last, either.

There was something about Wooseok that was simply captivating.

It had been a year since the moment he first looked at his best friend and thought: _‘I might be in love with this man’_, and never dared to say a word about it.

A year of denial that his feelings were something real resulted in nothing. He couldn’t keep it to himself forever. And it wasn’t surprising that all the feelings that were once suspended in a void, refused acknowledgement, came to light at a moment like this. A moment like this—a week where they had nothing to think about aside from one another.

Jinhyuk almost hated that everything struck him so aggressively at this moment.

And he couldn’t be more grateful that Wooseok was asleep. His eyes couldn’t leave Wooseok’s figure and it would be too much if he were caught. _Too embarrassing._ After all, there was a stark difference between _suddenly waking up in the middle of the night and being unable to fall asleep_ and _suddenly awakening in the middle of the night only to be caught admiring your best friend by none other than said best friend._

_Kim Wooseok: he was attractive._ Everything about him was undeniably attractive but in the eyes of someone who held so much affection for him, he was _breathtaking_. And he was kind. There wasn’t a soul in the world who could argue against the thought, sense, and kindness in him.

Jinhyuk never thought he would fall for someone like Wooseok, someone so quiet. Wooseok answered when he was spoken to and he was only playful when he wanted to be. Sometimes, a coy smile danced across his lips and Jinhyuk felt an overwhelming temptation to lean over to press a gentle kiss to his lips. But he couldn’t. If he could, he would.

_It was cliché to fall in love with your best friend._

He couldn’t help it.

On the last day of their vacation, Jinhyuk stood on the balcony of their hotel room and watched the lights flicker beneath them. The wind gently carded through his hair. The sky was a dark curtain decorated with stars; breathtaking.

Wooseok was asleep in the room behind him.

The largest space between the two of them for the past week had been a single door and nothing more. If he turned at this moment, their distance was simply glass. He would be able to see Wooseok through the transparent frame if he turned. He didn’t know if he could take it.

With his heartbeat pounding in his chest and Wooseok’s smile on his mind, Jinhyuk kept his eyes forward and he leaned against the rail, inhaling the crisp Viennese air.

When they returned to Seoul and continued their own paths of life, there was no guarantee that Wooseok’s steps would always include him. And maybe that was why their vacation meant so much to him. It was something he would never forget because good memories were things that stuck with someone forever. And he could only hope that Wooseok felt the same way.

It would be too heartbreaking if only one of them treasured the days they spent together.

And they say that time flies when you have fun—the past week had been a blast. It was a rollercoaster of emotions but everything about it was fun. It was too painfully obvious that he was going to miss this. _This _being all the time they spent together in Vienna, every little bit of it.

He would give anything to spend another week with Wooseok like this. And he would never admit it aloud but with this being the last day of their little getaway, he supposed to could admit it to himself: _he would give anything to spend a lifetime with Kim Wooseok._

He opened the door a little too loudly when he came back into the hotel room. He cringed at the sound and he stepped into the room, quickly. He shut the door behind him with a breath.

Wooseok’s voice followed the broken silence; “Jinhyuk?”

“Yeah, did I wake you up?” he asked in a hushed voice, trying his best to not shake Wooseok from his sleepy state. Jinhyuk’s footsteps were quiet as he made his way over to the bed, worry shrouding his expression as he looked to his sleepy best friend. He wanted him to fall back asleep if he could. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway,” he replied. Jinhyuk could hear his tone was still obviously laced with tiredness and sleepiness. He felt bad for waking him up. Wooseok was exhausted and Jinhyuk knew it. This was supposed to be a vacation for them but somehow, it just felt like he made everything so stressful for Wooseok.

He would give back his hours if he could but it wasn’t possible. And maybe, it would have been possible in some alternate universe where, in return for his lost hours of rest, he could give Jinhyuk’s heart back to him. And that would be fair enough of a trade.

The hotel room was dark and the lights were off. Their only source of light was the moonlight streaming through the thin curtains. Wooseok looked so sleepy and it tugged Jinhyuk’s heartstrings because it was so endearing. He took a seat on the edge of the bed and smiled softly at the younger man, “You should do your best to sleep. We’re heading back tomorrow.”

Wooseok ignored him.

“Why were you outside?” he asked. Jinhyuk shook his head, brushing it off. Wooseok narrowed his eyes at the lack of a response (or maybe it was his imagination).

Wordlessly, Wooseok pulled Jinhyuk down onto the bed with him. The taller man gasped in surprise. His mind told him that Wooseok was sleepy and just wanted to fall back asleep, but his heart hoped that it wasn’t simply that. Wooseok pulled him against his chest.

“Sleep,” he ordered.

Jinhyuk’s cheeks burned crimson and he couldn’t be more grateful the Wooseok couldn’t see him in the dim moonlight. His heart was racing in his chest though, and he was certain that Wooseok could feel it. It was embarrassing.

He hoped Wooseok would just fall asleep to save himself the embarrassment.

They didn’t.

Like that, they spent the next hour talking about absolutely nothing until they were both yawning and exhausted, just like they did when they were children and Jinhyuk managed to convince his parents to let him sleepover at Wooseok’s place.

Unlike when they were children, though, Jinhyuk found comfort in resting against his best friend. Wooseok’s arms were wrapped around his waist and Jinhyuk swore that drifting into a peaceful dream could never be better than this moment. But he was falling asleep and he had to let go of the moment at some point. He was the first to speak of his exhaustion.

“I’m tired,” he murmured. “I’m going to fall asleep any second, now.”

It helped that Wooseok made a great pillow. He could get used to this, but he knew it was just wishful thinking to believe that he could have something like this. “Goodnight, Wooseokkie.”

“Are you going to let me sleep this time?” Wooseok joked. His voice was a low rumble in Jinhyuk’s ears and, strangely, it was comforting. He could hear Wooseok’s heartbeat against his ear; _steady and rhythmic._ And in the moment, where everything else surrounded them with silence, being with Wooseok was every sort of perfect that Jinhyuk knew Wooseok was.

“Of course,” he replied. His voice was soft and it was a complete contrast from how his heart pounded so quickly with every passing second. “Close your eyes and sleep. You need it.”

There was an unmistakable bliss in the way Jinhyuk smiled with his eyes closed, his head rested against Wooseok’s chest with his arms wrapped loosely around his waist.

He’d been waiting for a moment like this for years. And there were a million ways to say _‘I love you’ _without saying it aloud. Jinhyuk chose to wrap his arms around Wooseok, just a little tighter because he didn’t want the moment to ever slip away from them.

Wooseok’s heartbeat and his steady breath became Jinhyuk’s lullaby.

“Goodnight, Jinhyuk.”

Morning came to them in bright rays of sunlight and Jinhyuk didn’t want to move away from Wooseok. He didn’t even want to move a single inch away from him. His head was still comfortably rested against his chest and if they didn’t have a flight to catch in the late afternoon, then he would have happily stayed with Wooseok forever. Or maybe not forever but long enough for him to gather up the courage to confess his feelings.

(And maybe, they could fall back into one another’s arms with a different outlook on their relationship. But that was hopeful thinking. _A little too hopeful, maybe._)

If he could have more time in Vienna with Wooseok, he would take it. He would choose to never go back to Seoul in favour of spending more time with Wooseok in a heartbeat. And logically, anyone would take an extended vacation over returning to reality. But, Jinhyuk’s intentions revolved around the way his heart beat a little too quickly when he was curled up against his best friend. He was a little too deep in his emotions.

Jinhyuk didn’t know if Wooseok knew he was already awake, but he didn’t want him to know. Wooseok was sensitive enough to let him sleep a little longer and he didn’t want to move away from him just yet. He just wanted whatever he could take out of the moment if he couldn’t speak up about his feelings.

And contrary to how much he liked to talk, this was something he didn’t dare speak about.

He showed Wooseok that he loved him in a million ways, always did, but somewhere along the way, that friendly affection turned into something that was just a little more.

And despite it being so obvious that Wooseok meant the world to him, he was hopeless.

_How did you tell your best friend that you were in love with him?_

Wooseok woke after him. He noticed the change in his breathing pattern before he shifted beneath him (and a foolish part of Jinhyuk’s mind thought that he could get used to something like this). Wooseok was obviously trying to limit his movements to not wake him. Jinhyuk could feel the endearment warming up in his chest. And then Wooseok was suddenly still again.

He thought that Wooseok had fallen asleep again, but the younger man’s voice cut the silence.

“Jinhyuk?”

Jinhyuk mentally swore—had he been too obvious?

Jinhyuk shifted against him and hummed a sound of acknowledgement. He wasn’t ready for reality to remind him that this wasn’t his normal relationship with Wooseok; this wasn’t something he was allowed to keep. He didn’t want to shake the peaceful slumber yet, not when it had given him a silly hope for all of his feelings. _Everything with Wooseok in the past night felt too dreamlike._

He knew better.

He knew that dreams were simply what the heart wanted and that they weren’t real.

_But, he could still dream._

Wooseok’s voice broke Jinhyuk’s train of thoughts, “Sorry, did I wake you?”

The sound of Wooseok’s voice was concerned and, in a flurry of thoughts, he thought to himself: _maybe now would be the right time to voice all of these feelings. Maybe. _

Lying against Wooseok’s chest on the last day of a dream come true—_it would be fine, right?_

“It’s okay,” he replied. “I was already awake. You were just really comfortable.”

It was all he could manage to say before he sat back up and smiled at Wooseok.

His heart melted when Wooseok mirrored his sleepy smile.

At some point, he needed to pull himself away from Wooseok to find his state of calm. And _‘state of calm’_ meant the amazing ability to pretend to not be in hopelessly in love with your best friend. It was something he swore he’d mastered over the time he had been in love with Wooseok. Still, the façade cracked sometimes and he needed to be _alone_ to retain his cool.

He locked himself in the bathroom for that solitude.

There was something about their relationship that stumped him when he tried to say something about his feelings. There seemed to be an invisible line between them that he shouldn’t cross. And he didn’t know if it was just his imagination or if there was a mutual understanding that they were friends and _only_ friends. It could have been his imagination that drew the line between them.

But he couldn’t tell the difference anymore. He convinced himself that it was something beyond acceptable for their friendship. He couldn’t cross the line, even if he was the one who drew it.

And it was for that reason that every time he looked at Wooseok, he thought: _what if I said ‘I love you’? What would you think? What would you feel? What would you say?_

Along with those thoughts rested a fear that he would lose a treasured friend and his mind’s confidant. It was all too possible to lose Wooseok somewhere between being stupid enough to confess his feelings or even being dumb enough to wait until Wooseok had fallen in love with someone else and lose his chance entirely.

And he was so in love with him—he didn’t even know how Wooseok couldn’t see that.

It was so obvious, just in the way he looked at him. At some point, it must have become a gaze that Wooseok had seen so many times that he simply brushed it off as normal.

But somehow, he was grateful that Wooseok didn’t see through him like glass. He was good at hiding it, he supposed. He had been hiding his crush for a few years—it only got harder when he realized that his little crush turned into being in love with his best friend.

For the longest time before that, he brushed the feelings off as being sappy instead of being in love, when his lyrics about unrequited love turned out to be too relatable.

If Wooseok did notice, though, Jinhyuk couldn’t understand why Wooseok continued to play him, couldn’t understand why he didn’t say anything about it. Jinhyuk’s feelings wouldn’t simply vanish like a passing storm and he was certain that Wooseok knew that much about emotions, even if he didn’t know that Jinhyuk was in love with him. He hoped Wooseok didn’t know.

And Jinhyuk hated the movies that told you that it was easy to fall in love with your best friend.

They both had warm cups of coffee in their hands and the Viennese air was a comforting breeze as it gently kissed their skin.

They were standing on the balcony of their hotel suite, quietly reflecting on the past few days they spent in a foreign country with one another. All of it boiled down to sweet memories to Jinhyuk and he was glad that, in his eyes, they made good memories together.

But, travelling halfway across the world with your best friend taught you things you never realized.

One of the first things he learned was that his feelings for Wooseok were deeper than he initially thought. It seemed that you simply couldn’t push away the idea of attraction in hopes that it would all eventually die down.

And somewhere along the way, he learned that the sound of Wooseok’s voice was sweeter than the lyrics of any love song he’d ever written and that his smile was more captivating than any addictive beat he’d ever composed.

“Hey, Wooseok?” he started with a mischievous smile. Wooseok glanced at him. “Would you ever do this with me, again?”

He didn’t know what Wooseok’s chuckle meant, but the sound of his laughter sounded better than the sweetest of symphonies. And he didn’t need anyone to tell him that he’d fallen too deep.

Seated on the edge of the neatly made bed, Jinhyuk’s eyes moved from his belongings on the floor to Wooseok. Slowly, his eyes scanned the younger man’s figure as he tried to gather his mind. Wooseok was running around the hotel room, gathering his belongings to place by the door.

In just a few hours, they would be leaving the foreign grounds that they found a home in for the past week. They were leaving behind the memories they made when they flew back to Seoul.

There were words bubbling up to his throat, there was an urge to speak.

And Jinhyuk didn’t know what was going to leave his mouth when he summoned the courage to speak, but he knew that his mind wanted to tell Wooseok all about how he was so madly in love with him. _So much that it was almost pathetic._

His eyes continued to follow Wooseok as he placed his belongings by the door. Every passing second brought them closer to leaving a city he’d fallen in love with. Every passing second brought him closer to having to abandon a place where he could live out an imaginary relationship.

He considered actually telling Wooseok, actually having the guts to tell him. If everything went wrong, they could forget all about it, just like their memories. If it all went wrong, he could leave his heart here in Vienna and pretend that everything was okay.

He would be okay after he wrote a few songs about how love songs lied to you.

But, he would get over it. He would be okay.

He considered it for a long time. And his silence should have been concerning if Wooseok wasn’t too focused on packing his things to notice.

When Wooseok finally finished packing—without Jinhyuk’s help, because he was too busy in his own little world—and he placed his hand on the doorknob that Jinhyuk decided to forget about the consequences for a moment. It was at that moment that his mind decided that Wooseok _deserved_ to know that his best friend felt more for him than he probably should.

And if nothing good came out of it, then at least he tried.

Jinhyuk threw caution to the wind—because if he didn’t do anything now, he’d never have the chance or the guts to try it again.

It all happened faster than he could register. He was on his feet one moment and the next, his arms were wrapped around his best friend’s waist and he was leaning against him. His chin rested itself against Wooseok’s shoulder. It felt a little too intimate.

But Jinhyuk couldn’t look Wooseok in the eye when he was about to spill out his entire heart.

_(And their good memories? He was sorry that he might ruin them for Wooseok.)_

“Please don’t ask any questions,” he breathed, “Don’t say anything. Just… let me talk until I don’t want to say anything anymore.”

Wooseok was warm and comfortable. And to Jinhyuk, he smelled something like home—always did.

And for a moment, he lost his words and his confidence. It only faltered with every passing second. He didn’t know how his resolve shattered and plummeted so quickly but he hated it.

But this was his chance to say something and he couldn’t let it pass.

He’d probably shocked Wooseok enough with his touch. His mind convinced him that he might as well shoot for the highest impact and pray for the best. _There was nothing else he could do._

At the very least, he could only pray for something better than the worst, whatever that might be. He never really thought about it, never actually anticipated confessing his romantic feelings to his best friend when they decided on a celebratory getaway together.

“On a very quick second thought, I probably shouldn’t be telling you. This is just going to ruin what we have—_oh, I’m so stupid_,” he exhaled, “I shouldn’t have said anything at all. I should have listened to myself, what am I doing?”

He paused but his arms stayed tightly wrapped around the smaller man. “_Wooseok, please hit me_—but don’t. Don’t actually do it because it’s going to hurt and I can’t take that right now.”

He took a breath, “I’m already talking, how am I going to stop now? You probably already know where this is headed, don’t you? That’s rhetorical, don’t answer that. I’m rambling again, how am I losing myself so quickly? This is ridiculous.”

Wooseok tried to turn to look at him. Jinhyuk held him in place.

_“No!”_ he exclaimed. Wooseok halted.

Jinhyuk took a deep breath, “You know, if you feel the same way, then I don’t know what to do because I didn’t think that far—I’m terribly impulsive and you know that. I never think that far. But, it’s okay if you don’t know what to say—if you don’t feel the same way, then that’s okay. I’ll get over it, you know I will. If you don’t feel the same way, we can leave all of this here in Vienna and we can pretend that it never happened.” He swallowed, “Think of it like a dream or something, or a nightmare, whatever it is to you. That’s okay too, I just don’t want to lose you if this ruins us.”

“If… if you haven’t figured out what I’m trying to say,” Jinhyuk continued, “I think you’re an idiot and I don’t know why I bother with you.” Jinhyuk inhaled, but he didn’t lift his head from its position against Wooseok’s shoulder because he was losing his will to spill out his entire heart to his best friend. He wasn’t counting on feeling so _vulnerable_ when he confessed.

But he was so close to the end of his practical speech about his feelings for Wooseok.

He felt ridiculous.

_This was ridiculous_.

“But that’s just my nerves and spite talking because you mean the world to me and you know that,” he said, “I know you know that. And before we leave Vienna, I just want you to know—because if I don’t say this now, I never will.”

He took a deep breath, “Kim Wooseok, I’m in love with you.”

His fingers curled into his palms, into little fists. And he let out a breath.

Then, he was holding his breath again, his nerves getting the better of him.

“… I’m done, now,” he murmured. “You can talk, now.”

(He wasn’t ready to hear Wooseok’s answer.)

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/yuseokki) / [cc](https://curiouscat.me/jjokkiri) ♡  
yes, i made you guys sit through that mess for an open ending.  
am i sorry about it? just a little bit. it’s okay - use your imagination, friends. ♡


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